Welcome to Pineapple Express!
Pineapple Express is a 2008 Judd Apatow produced stoner comedy film written by Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen, starring James Franco and Seth Rogen. It follows the antics of a stoner process server named Dale Denton, played by Rogen, and his drug dealer, Saul Silver, who is played by James Franco.
Couscous – the food so nice they named it twice.
Pineapple Express Plot:
Dale Denton is a stoner and process server who goes to meet his dealer, Saul. Saul sells him a special kind of marijuana called Pineapple Express, which he claims to be the only one in the town to have. Later Dale goes to a man named Ted’s house to deliver him a summons but while waiting outside in his car and smoking a joint of Pineapple Express he looks in the window and sees Ted Jones, played by Gary Cole, and a female cop named Carol Brazier, played by Rosie Perez, shoot an unidentified man to death.
Saul: Sick! You threw up in my printer!
Dale Denton: I did.
Saul: You break it?
Dale Denton: I hope not.
Terrified, Dale flees the scene, but leaves a roach of the Pineapple Express behind in the process. Ted, who is actually a powerful drug lord, recognizes the roach to be Pineapple Express. He sends two men to the next dealer down in the chain, a man named Red, played by Danny McBride. He tells them that he only sold the weed to Saul, so Ted’s men go to find him.
When my foot was in the hole – and my groin – man, I felt like a wishbone.
The rest of the Pineapple Express full movie follows the crazy stoner antics of Dale and Saul as they try to avoid being killed by Ted’s men. After being caught selling weed to kids, Dale gets arrested but Saul rescues him, after which they get into an argument. Saul is taken captive as a hostage in Ted’s marijuana growing operation, under a barn, so Dale and Red decide to go rescue him.
Saul Silver: What’s up with the suit?
Dale Denton: Oh, I’m a process server, so I have to wear a suit.
Saul Silver: Wow, you’re a servant? Like a butler? A chauffeur?
Dale Denton: No, no. What? No, I’m not like..
Saul Silver: Shine shoes?
Dale Denton: I’m a “process server!”
Dale gets captured while trying to rescue Saul, but a group of asian gangsters come and shoot Ted and his men to avenge the murder that started the whole chain of events. Dale, Saul and Red escape the burning barn together and get really high off of the weed smoke coming from it. The film ends with the three of them eating breakfast.
Dale Denton: I’m gonna get us out of here!
Saul Silver: No. You’re not. But it’s okay.
Pineapple Express Quotes
Red: I’m trying to decide how stoned I am and just how on the verge of death am I right now. Like, am I seeing shit because I’m stoned or because I have no blood left in my body?
Dale Denton: Well, you’ve been shot like seven times.
Dale Denton: In case you haven’t noticed, which you haven’t, because from what I can tell, you don’t notice anything ever, we are not very functional when we’re high.
Saul: Well, I don’t know, man. I think I’m functioning right now. I was, like, stoned when I saved you with those slushies. What do you say to that?
Dale Denton: Well, that would be true if you had saved me. But you didn’t save me. She was gonna help us, but you made things worse. Now we’re wanted for all sorts of crazy shit!
Red: Man, just listen: I would just appreciate it if both y’all would just take your shoes off; I mean, this is brand new carpet, you’re tracking mud in here – Matheson, you’ve got British Knights on. I ain’t seen anybody wear them since 1987!
I feel like the nerd at the sleep-over that fell asleep at nine.
I may look tough, but I got a lot of feelings…and you hurt…damn near every one of them.
Saul: Man, why’d we have to go to the woods?
Dale Denton: Well you didn’t come up with any ideas!
Saul: Yeah, I came up with two! Nowhere and Quizno’s.
Saul: No… I see. The monkey’s out of the bottle now!
Dale Denton: What? That’s not even.. a figure of speech.
Saul: Pandora can’t go back into the box, he only comes out.
Saul: How about in the park, when I said you were my friend… you didn’t say anything back.
Dale Denton: Well, that’s easy. It’s because we’re not friend. You are my drug dealer, the only reason I know you is because I like the drugs you sell. If you didn’t sell drugs, I would have no idea who you are, and I wouldn’t be here right now. I would be fantastic!
I’m chill as a cucumber.
Saul: Wait…what do you mean the battery’s dead?
Dale Denton: … I mean the battery is dead. It ceases to live. The car needs a battery to start, Saul.
Saul: No no… What do you mean, the battery is dead?
Dale Denton: The battery is fucking dead. I don’t know how I can word this to you differently.
Red: [points to his armpits] You see this? There’s no hair under here!
Dale Denton: What’s the significance of that?
Red: It makes me aerodynamic, for fighting!
Dale Denton: How could he find us?
Saul: Umm, heat-seeking missiles, bloodhounds, foxes, barracudas.
Dale Denton: It’s just… I’m kinda flabbergasted when you say things like that. It’s weird.
Saul: Thank you.
Dale Denton: Not a compliment.